This is literally the best thing ever.
-you smell different when you’re awake
-please help me (then smile as if nothing happened)
-you have lovely skin, I can’t wait to wear it
-your hair tastes like strawberries
-he knows, don’t go home.
-I always knew you would die in my arms
-every time I poop I think of you
-no one will ever believe you
-I killed mufasa
-I bet you didn’t feel me lick your ear
-mother told me it would be like this
Client: I need this ASAP. I know you said you don’t work on the weekends but this is really urgent.
Me: Alright then. I am going to send you an invoice for the extra hours.
Client: What? You said you didn’t work at the weekend! I don’t want to pay for stuff you do in your free time.